How do I live without them

This eid really made me think. Enough to make me stop thinking about living with others.
I really love my parents.
The moment when Aboh asked us to gather just to make sure we heard what he wanted to said, just broke my heart.
I didn't know what my brothers felt
But I was so sad and worried.
He told us about the thing we supposed to do as 'children' and as brothers and sister to our Aish Irham.
It was hard not to accept that our parents are growing older as well as us.
But, it hurted me. A lot.
I just didn't want to stop being with my parents because they're my everything.

It's not that they're too old, or they have critical diseases but.
We couldn't expect what will happen next. Our future.
I truly understand what he did but the only thing I couldn't comprehend was me.
I am oversensitive about things related to my parents.
They do make me as me. With the world named, love.

No. I didn't tell them everyday that I love them.
I didn't say that nor showed affection.
That is not me but I know that I really love them and I don't know what happen to me if I don't have them around.

After the gathering.
One thing I realised the most.
I really want to be with them. I want to love them.
The thought of getting married and finding the other half of mine is disappeared from my mind.

I have to choose carefully.
I need a husband who really loves my parents.
I am a daughter. I don't have the sole power of my parents.
But if my 'future half' does, then it's my rezki.

Thus, I don't want to think about that.
One vital thing is, let my parents happy with what we did in this world.
What we have contributed to them.
What should I do to make them happier and healthier.

Dear Umi and Abah, I love you two too much.
As I don't have the urge to find a husband because I am too worried of how he is.
Will he love you as I do?

Õ Allah, You're the greatest. The One that I can ask for. Please take care of my parents.
Please have some pity on them. Bless them, and make them healthy and live for a blessed life and may them be granted with your Jannah.


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